One month, 10 awards. We have the answer to the big question. After countless hours staring at screens, will people like it? Will it deliver? Are the jokes funny? Do the heartstrings tighten?
I arrive in Virginia for the Lost Weekend Film Festival, the World Premiere followed by Charlotte Film Festival and then the Hells Half Mile festival in Bay City, Michigan. Full houses, raucous laughter and a generous lack of dry eyes.
Holy Cow, it's working.
An audience member asks at the Q and A, how long did this take? They expect a year, maybe two.
The answer - The entirety of my 20's. A ten year journey.
Let's begin with a story.
2015: I've written a western short taking place in 1917, the late days of World War I. Not exactly where we expect a movie about prom to start. It's my first attempt at a story about epilepsy. It's not terribly personal, but I feel like I'm starting to use my voice for the right reasons.
2016: I fly to a film festival in search of my filmmaking hero, Mark Duplass. Indie legend. A man, who alongside his brother Jay, transformed the way filmmakers approach making indie movies. I tell him about my western.
Here's a photo of that exact moment -
He says something to the effect of 'Why?'. 'Why would you blow your budget on costumes and locations when you could make a killer story with two actors in your back yard!'
2017: My family is impacted by wildfires and we relocate for a year to an unfamiliar place. My health falls apart and I start to write. The Under the Lights short film is born. A short film about Sam, a boy with epilepsy so desperate to feel like a regular kid, he goes to prom knowing the lights will make him have a seizure. For the first time I pour my most vulnerable feelings into a script. This time it's not for me - it's for the kids I met at epilepsy camp who have never made friends. Not because there is anything wrong with them, but because the stigma has kept them from being loved as they are.
2018: I take Mark's advice... kind of. We raise 50k and build the bathroom the short film takes place in. It turns out wonderfully. 7 years later, it still screens around the world to audiences of up to 700 people at a time. It becomes a cultural touchpoint in the epilepsy community. Fan art pours out from all different countries. Wow. We are on to something.
Now I know - I must make the feature. I realize that the current epilepsy awareness efforts are making little traction. What if a movie energized the general public and was seen by millions.
What if my experience with epilepsy could be worth while?
2021: The feature script is written. I start looking for funding.
2023: Under the Lights breaks the all time crowdfunding record on Seed and Spark.
2024: We shoot. We finally did it. Mark Duplass is IN the movie. (WHAT?!) We secure an all star cast. Nick Offerman, Randall Park, Lake Bell, Marin Hinkle. This really could be a breakthrough moment for this community.
Last Month
Last month I find myself at the opening night party for the Hells Half Mile film festival, where the Under the Lights feature has the honor of the opening night slot.
The party before hand has at least 100 people. I breathe a sigh of relief. Maybe attendance will be okay? I start to walk to the theater.
No one follows.
This is bad, real bad.
But then, as I come around the corner, I see something every director dreams of:
Hundreds of people are lined up all the way down the street.
An actual block buster. In the original sense.
Hells Half Mile Film Festival, Michigan
400 people have showed up. The balcony is packed. And they love it.
Something to understand about filmmakers: we stare at the work so long that there comes a moment when we question everything. The jokes do not make you laugh any more. Nothing moves you. You wonder if it even works at all. You no longer enjoy what you are watching, and nothing makes sense.
I found myself laughing at the humor. My eyes welled up at the end. For the first time in lord knows how long - I saw it. I loved it. And they did too. One thousand requests for screenings from fans poured in the next day.
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People like to ask me what it feels like to be done. I don't think I'll ever be done. The adventure is just beginning. The magic of the short film is that it became a job in the best sense. It brought me purpose and a mission to deliver on.
I have a strong sense that it will take a great many years to fully realize the dream. There is a lot of work to do.
I want to thank everyone who championed me and got me this far. First and foremost - the crew. UCB for seeing the value and taking the lead. Natalie Metzger at Vanishing Angle and Spencer Howson my right hand.
I owe this to the epilepsy community who came through and saw the importance. The world will follow.
Thank you.
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